Much Much Cursing At My House

I’m holding a bag of frozen corn up to my face.

Why? Why would I do such a thing?

It is not because it is fun.

Nothing fun about frozen corn on the face.

The corn is to take down the swelling until I can get into the dentist which is probably going to cost a million gabillion dollars.

I used to have perfect teeth. Really. I’d go to the dentist and they’d be all, “Wow, you have perfect teeth.”

Then I made the mistake of eating French toast. You might think that French toast is non-threatening and lovely and full of goodness. I thought so. So much so that I asked Barrett to teach me how to make it last night. Using Dave’s Killer Bread (ha, ha, ha, Dave, you have had the last laugh), organic eggs and butter from our CSA farm and a touch of cinnamon and vanilla. It smelled SO good cooking and took forever since we don’t have a griddle and had to make them one piece at a time in the cast iron skillet. It was going swimmingly.


I was turning into the Master of French Toast and was already making plans for all of the future French Toast Extravaganzas I was going to create once I got my hands on a nice big griddle.

The sizzle of butter in the pan, the coosh as the egg and bread hit the pan, the smell of cinnamon and vanilla — how could I NOT be planning French Toast Extravaganzas when it was turning out to be the most fun thing in the world???

Then we sat down to eat. And something went crunch. Inside my mouth. Not a normal food crunch. I was sure there was a tiny piece of glass or metal in the bread but didn’t overly investigate. I have hearty teeth, I was sure it was fine. Maybe an extra hard seed?

Then today I chomped down on an adorable little thumbelina carrot from the farm. And realized SOMETHING was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! A little tiny carrot should not cause so much pain. I had Barrett check it out and he confirmed that my tooth looked dodgy and was possibly cracked.


I have an emergency appointment at a local dentist that takes people without dental insurance (which I hadn’t thought I needed since I had perfect teeth and wasn’t supposed to go to the dentist during chemotherapy anyway).

I’ve spent the week marveling at how amazing the human body is. It wants to heal! I have visible evidence from the surgery that my body wants to repair itself.

But I have this horrible feeling that the whole amazing miracle-healing-of-the-human-body business might not apply to teeth.

Join the Conversation


  1. Youch. A seed in the bread, maybe, or extra-hard little nub of eggshell? My husband cracked a tooth on a “pitted” olive that wasn’t. Good luck at the dentist. And don’t give up on future French Toast Extravaganzas — may I suggest a lovely Challah bread for smooth chewing goodness?

  2. That sounds horrible! Amanda S. once cracked a tooth too… on a piece of candy corn, I think. Or a mallowcreme pumpkin. I hate everything related to dentists… except leaving the dentist office.

  3. Gah! I’m so sorry! I had that happen when I was a teenager — I worked at a movie theater where we all ate too much candy (from all those “destroyed” packets). It was much better once it was out — for me and for the dentist, who I recall complaining about his arm hurting because he had to pull so hard on the remaining piece of tooth. And I won’t even tell you about my husband’s teeth escapades. He’s English. Hang in there!

  4. Ow. Yes, your blog brought up what I called, “My $1000 serving of Lentils”, otherwise known as “The reason you rinse and look for little rocks in beans and lentils is that sometimes they ARE there…and, shockingly….they can crack a tooth in half”


  5. It’s repaired! Randomly googled a dentist in our neighborhood and ended up with a fabulous dentist who actually charged me less than he’d thought he was going to.
    Not so fun getting it repaired, but, as far as medical torture goes, I’ve had worse. Much, much worse. Like that time I hyperventilated in the MRI. Or when I was sure that the nurse had brought out a handful of “oversized joke syringes”, but then proceeded to draw vats of blood with them. Out of each arm!
    I was going to swear off Dave’s Killer Bread but if mallowcreme pumpkin and lentils aren’t safe, what is?

  6. I’m sorry to say I’ve cracked several teeth — at least one on an “everything” bagel from Noah’s. It’s no fun. Hope your pain is all better soon.

  7. i’m guessing emergency dental procedures were not really high on your list of fun things to do before chemo starts again – what a bummer! i’m glad it wasn’t awful to get it fixed. no more emergencies, now! take care.

  8. On behalf of all French Toast That Loves to be Eaten, I apologize for your suffering. Please do not let this experience affect your enjoyment of future french toast treats. As a french toast newbie, you could not have know that you were making a classic hippy error: French toast should never be made using so-called hearty and wholesome breads with chunks of things in them. Anything seeded, sprouted or more than 2 pounds per slice is not made to be dipped in batter and become delicious. Next time, try a nice challa or brioche. So sorry you had to learn this important lesson the hard way. So glad you’re feeling better and your teeth have returned to perfection.

  9. Good news… I just had a similar thing happen, only it was while I was enjoying a glorious bowl of popcorn. We don’t have dental insurance either but to repair my tooth (which had broken off a little) cost $230. I was thinking at least $1000!!!
    I love that you can make a story about breaking a tooth enjoyable to read!

  10. So glad you got it repaired- and at a discount, no less! Go easy on Dave. I like any guy who can pull himself out of a miserable life and prevail despite his 4 prior felony convictions. His bread rocks, even though those seeds can be killers.

  11. Ouch. I’m always shocked at how much a tooth can hurt given how small it actually is! A few years ago on New Year’s Eve I had an infected wisdom tooth and the entire side of my head/face/neck was hurting because of it. I had to have all four of them removed at the same time. I did, however, have the best wisdom tooth removal experience ever though. I went to a dental surgeon and he did what they call “conscious sedation” so I was awake for the procedure but I couldn’t really feel much and I was so relaxed that I think I actually fell asleep during it. My recovery time was super-speedy with hardly any bruising or swelling at all.
    Just thought I’d share my good dentist story to balance out all the scary/bad/painful dentist stories ; ) Glad to hear you had the tooth repaired with minimal cost and fuss.

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