I’m holding a bag of frozen corn up to my face.
Why? Why would I do such a thing?
It is not because it is fun.
Nothing fun about frozen corn on the face.
The corn is to take down the swelling until I can get into the dentist which is probably going to cost a million gabillion dollars.
I used to have perfect teeth. Really. I’d go to the dentist and they’d be all, “Wow, you have perfect teeth.”
Then I made the mistake of eating French toast. You might think that French toast is non-threatening and lovely and full of goodness. I thought so. So much so that I asked Barrett to teach me how to make it last night. Using Dave’s Killer Bread (ha, ha, ha, Dave, you have had the last laugh), organic eggs and butter from our CSA farm and a touch of cinnamon and vanilla. It smelled SO good cooking and took forever since we don’t have a griddle and had to make them one piece at a time in the cast iron skillet. It was going swimmingly.
I was turning into the Master of French Toast and was already making plans for all of the future French Toast Extravaganzas I was going to create once I got my hands on a nice big griddle.
The sizzle of butter in the pan, the coosh as the egg and bread hit the pan, the smell of cinnamon and vanilla — how could I NOT be planning French Toast Extravaganzas when it was turning out to be the most fun thing in the world???
Then we sat down to eat. And something went crunch. Inside my mouth. Not a normal food crunch. I was sure there was a tiny piece of glass or metal in the bread but didn’t overly investigate. I have hearty teeth, I was sure it was fine. Maybe an extra hard seed?
Then today I chomped down on an adorable little thumbelina carrot from the farm. And realized SOMETHING was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong! A little tiny carrot should not cause so much pain. I had Barrett check it out and he confirmed that my tooth looked dodgy and was possibly cracked.
I have an emergency appointment at a local dentist that takes people without dental insurance (which I hadn’t thought I needed since I had perfect teeth and wasn’t supposed to go to the dentist during chemotherapy anyway).
I’ve spent the week marveling at how amazing the human body is. It wants to heal! I have visible evidence from the surgery that my body wants to repair itself.
But I have this horrible feeling that the whole amazing miracle-healing-of-the-human-body business might not apply to teeth.