A Weighty Issue

My suspension of disbelief meter is set to Extreme High — meaning that I buy into almost anything I read no matter how implausible. When I read comic books, I have no problem believing in parallel universes, healing factors, or the danger of gamma rays.

But I always drew the line at bosoms as big as your head.

Not that this is an impossibility, but it is definitely an improbability. How often is your bosom really as big as your head? And not your combined bosom either — each ½ of the bosom area on a comic book heroine can easily be as large as the character’s head.

Some examples:

I thought this was HIGHLY amusing. It is a super power certainly to have ginormous bosoms that do not hinder one’s ability to fight crime, but sort of a ridiculous one.

I’m starting to rethink this issue.

I totally understand the need for cancer patients to be on the upper end of their weight range and I get why I am encouraged to be a bit on the rolly polly side and even given steroids to help this endeavor. I have first-hand experience with how dangerous one bad round of chemo can be and how quickly the weight can fly off when you spend your time throwing up constantly. I’ve read all of the statistics on “wasting syndrome” and the better survival chances of cancer patients who maintain or gain weight during treatment compared to those who lose it.

And I truly appreciate the fact that the “food tastes bad” chemo side effect hits me only briefly and in no way impedes my overall gustatory pleasure.

And I’m barely even complaining about how unfair it is to be bald, rashy, AND chubby.

But being on the upper end of your weight range can seriously decrease the head to bosom ratio putting you dangerously close to the Bosom As Big As Your Head Range.

I’m not sure that there is any horrible disadvantage to this — it hasn’t stopped me from fighting crime or anything important like that, though it is a bit hard on the old undergarments.

What it does stop me from doing is mocking comic book bosoms.

I am going to miss mocking comic book bosoms.

In the spirit of saving my strained undergarments and taking back my mocking abilities I’m going to keep my fingers crossed for a REALLY great CT Scan today.

Love to you all,

Bridget

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4 Comments

  1. Wait! You can still mock them! The huge bosoms of comic books don’t appear to require any foundation garments to stand up perkily, even when their owners are engaged in strenuous active endeavors! I mean, I don’t know how Emma frost’s breasts can actually stay in the “top” of that above outfit. In any case, my fingers are crossed for your CT.

  2. You know what, if you’re putting on bosom weight, chances are your body is healthy. I’d bet money on a great CT scan. Good luck!

  3. Hope you had a great CT scan. Last year I did that fitting thing they always recommend you do and they said I was a D. How is that possible? That seems verging into comic book territory.

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